“I’ve been to the other side of the world and back more than once. I’ve been friends with murderers and murder victims alike. I opened a homeless shelter. I’ve been a vegetarian for years. I haven’t used or drank in 20 years. I had sex reassignment surgery in 2004. I love living alone. My life is really, really good. My father disowned me. I’m a Theravada Buddhist. I’ve known several people who did kill themselves. I’ve been homeless more than once. I was asked to speak to a crowd of several thousand people – and did it. I was featured as a “hero” more than once (LOL!).”

To a certified pioneer, like this:

“…is a pioneer in addressing the practical needs of the transgender community. She started the first trans homeless shelter and co-founded the first federally funded trans-only homeless program, pioneered affordable health care for trans people in the Houston area, won the right for trans people to change their gender on Texas ID prior to surgery, started numerous trans social service programs, founded the Transgender Center as well as the Transgender Archive. Cristan chairs the City of Houston HIV Prevention Planning Group, serves on the Board of Directors for the Bee Busy Wellness Center and is the Executive Director of the Transgender Foundation of America. She has a 22 year old son and creates websites for nonprofits for free in her spare time.”

That’s metamorphic for sure, albeit certainly admirable accomplishments.  I can’t wait to see next week’s iteration.  I guess when you’re trying to rise to the top of transgender one does what they have to do. 

*shrugs*

Isn’t anybody real anymore?

Any disagreement with the transgender, any challenge to their premise, any slip of the tongue, any misunderstanding, and any mischaracterization of their position that isn’t approved, no matter how slight and no matter how unintentional will immediately garner a scream of transphobia.  I’ve said it repeatedly, only some of the GLBT, not even all, side up with the transgender in the first place.  It should be apparent to the transgender that the more they rant, the more supporters they lose within even the gay rights movement.

Correctly or not, I’ve always felt the transgender get some kind of vicarious thrill out of being special, after all, it’s not in the least uncommon to read on the trans blogs that the author is “…proud to be trans.”  What they can’t seem to understand is no one, including the GLB and particularly the mainstream, gives a hoot if they are special and want to be considered some other than/less than type of third sex.  I’m sure many in the Trans Mafia relish the reference and revel in it, unwilling, unable, or simply incapable of understanding that the GLB in coining the term Trans Mafia did not do so out of affection.

The transgender have absolutely shouted transphobia into the ground…it is a worn out term.  The transgender umbrella has captured so many sets and subsets under it that they can’t even agree among themselves who belongs there.  Regardless of whose under the transgender umbrella, the Trans Mafia is not doing any of them any good.  The transphobia non-sense can be summed up in this generalized comment on Joe.My.God, a noted gay blog:

“They position themselves as the only acceptable representatives for a generally worthwhile cause, and if you disagree with anything they say or do, they label you an enemy to that cause – even if you also generally support it. Do you support trans rights, but merely disagree with glitter-bombing Dan Savage? Too bad, you now suddenly oppose trans rights of any kind, always and forever. You’re an evil stupid bigot and you should be ashamed of yourself!”

Doesn’t this sound familiar?  Hold a personal opinion in disagreement with a transgender something or other and, for instance, Cristan Williams will develop some juvenile and illogical argument that compares you to the KKK.  (Of course, Ms. Williams is quick to add a disclaimer   stating she’s not actually comparing you to the KKK when, in fact,  she is actually comparing you to the KKK.)  Of course, being undeniably, demonstrably, and repeatedly demonized by Ms. Williams and a few others is a perfect illustration of what the GLB now call the Trans Mafia.  Until a couple of years ago, with perhaps the exception of locally, no one had ever even heard of Cristan.  And then, when the Nikki Araguz case came to light, Cristan burst upon the blogosphere and entered the debate as the latest authority on all things trans, hell bent on disproving our experiences in spite of the fact that we lived them and she didn’t.  Cristan Williams is not unique…just another trans women who enjoys taking every opportunity to demonize those of us who may not see eye to eye with her views.  And, just like all the others, she will drop out just as magnificently as even the transgender get tired of hearing the same ole, same ole.

I don’t mean to pick on Cristan, even though I can’t think of one single time she’s ever had anything positive to say about anything I’ve ever written; in spite of her demonizing me at every turn, I’ve said several times before that she seems to have accomplished quite a few very admirable things within the Houston TG sphere.  I’ve also stated there are many transgender who need the support network she is involved with…I think what she does is great.  I know she reads, if not hangs on, every single word on my blog as she scours the internet looking for tidbits here and there to bolster the same general argument over and over on her blog.  Lord knows she quoted me and linked to my blog enough.  For Cristan, and others that came before and will no doubt replace her down the line, discussion and appreciating an opposing point of view is not part of the plan…it’s all about winning.  Consensus is not an option.  The tack of the transgender is our way and no other way than our way, with our terminology, our philosophy, our approach.  And, if one doesn’t play by their rules, they are transphobic.  The result is that the GLB now refers to them as the Trans Mafia.

Here’s more of the blatant comments from the Joe.My.God. thread that prove my points above, though except for the occasional trans defender, the general tone of all of the comments are essentially the same:

Xaria

“If someones trans, their always trans.”  (This comment is from a transgender)

Xaria

“Someone who has had all the operations in the world is just as trans as someone who hasnt taken one hormone.”  (From the same transgenderist as above.)

Mike in Houston

“And EVEN if he [Dan Savage] were to have a transperson on stage with him as part of a dialoge, it would inevitably be cast as the “wrong trans person” by these nut jobs… because this isn’t about dialogue or learning or even really making a thought-provoking point.  It’s about overly dramatic gestures to make ineffectual people like they are actually doing something of importance.”  (Obviously not everyone in Houston considers the GLBT one big happy family)

Erich

“It appears that gay people are supposed to put their own priorities aside and focus exclusively on trans issues while the trans community sits around and complains about how nobody is doing enough to help them.”

Guest

“The Transgendered Community needs to friggin’ pull it together.”

 Erich

“If the transgender community has a problem with the priorities of the gay community, then they are more than welcome to hitch their wagon somewhere else.”

Diego

“This is what happens when you warp gay identity into something called “LGBT”.  We never should have allowed that to happen.”

AJD

“Ugh, I’m so tired of these “radical queer” morons and their stupid rhetoric about the Evil Gay White Cisgendered Abled Oppressors.”

ABG

“I’m done, I’m completely done. The disgusting attack on Ru Paul over a fucking word and now this just a little over a week later! This is officially the nail in the coffin for me and the trans community. Deal with your own damn problems.”

Guest

“Every day I read a post by trans individuals I am “told” I can’t respond because I come from some sort of privlidge that they don’t enjoy.”

DrJWL

“I find “cis” to be an offensive word, so I’m just going to enjoy using “tranny”. I don’t care to know or be involved in tranny issues, they are not my issues. Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual issues are relevant to my life and those are the issues I support.”

 Ryan

“Gay issues and priorities are not the same as trans issues and prioriies.  We are allowed to focus on gay marriage if it is what is important to us.  We don’t need to go by the trans agenda. The trans community needs to stop trying to hijack the gay rights movement.  Yes, we are supportive of your issues, but we still have our own priorities that we want to get done.  The more trans people attack gays the less likely we are to help trans issues.”

Diego

“Hey look everybody!  It’s Missanthrope, a tranny who used to blog about how she 1) beat up her own mother, 2) nearly beat up her own son and 3) fantasized about breaking the nose of a lesbian friend of hers because something the lesbian said offended her.  Missanthrope is a perfect example of the mental and emotional instability that afflicts trans activists and leads them to violent acts such as those directed at Dan Savage.”  

“The biggest mistake gays ever made was changing the name of their movement and attaching themselves to a small group of rage-filled thugs, most of whom are not gay and many of whom hold gay people in contempt.”

Guest

“I hope the trans activists realize that they are doing more harm than good.  The more they try to demonize their gay male allies, the less likely they are to receive our support.  I had been a supporter of trans issues, but after repeatedly hearing activists put down all gay men in general, I have had enough.”

The GLB is clearly losing its affection for the transgender.  They’ve just about alienated themselves from everyone.  To say again, don’t look for their demonization of those they call separatists to stop…it won’t.  And, the GLB shouldn’t look for the transgender to stop their demonization of them either…it won’t.

 Agyrophobia- Fear of streets or crossing the street.
Aichmophobia- Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Ailurophobia- Fear of cats.
Albuminurophobia- Fear of kidney disease.
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
Algophobia- Fear of pain.
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.
Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Altophobia- Fear of heights.
Amathophobia- Fear of dust.
Amaxophobia- Fear of riding in a car.
Ambulophobia- Fear of walking.
Amnesiphobia- Fear of amnesia.
Amychophobia- Fear of scratches or being scratched.

Cherophobia- Fear of gaiety.
Chionophobia- Fear of snow.
Chiraptophobia- Fear of being touched.
Chirophobia- Fear of hands.
Chiroptophobia- Fear of bats.
Cholerophobia- Fear of anger or the fear of cholera.
Chorophobia- Fear of dancing.
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money.
Chromophobia or Chromatophobia- Fear of colors.

Kleptophobia- Fear of stealing.
Koinoniphobia- Fear of rooms.
Kolpophobia- Fear of genitals, particularly female.
Kopophobia- Fear of fatigue.

Hominophobia- Fear of men.
Hoplophobia- Fear of firearms.
Hydrargyophobia- Fear of mercurial medicines.
Hydrophobia- Fear of water or of rabies.

Transphobia-Transphobia (or less commonly cissexism, transprejudice, and trans-misogyny, referring to transphobia directed toward trans women, or trans-misandry, referring to transphobia directed toward trans men) is a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards transsexualism and transsexual or transgender people, based on the expression of their internal gender identity (see Phobia – terms indicating prejudice or class discrimination).  A number of terms with the suffix -phobia are used non-clinically but have gained public acceptance, though they are often considered buzzwords. Such terms are primarily understood as negative attitudes towards certain categories of people or other things, used in an analogy with the medical usage of the term. Usually these kinds of “phobias” are described as fear, dislike, disapproval, prejudice, hatred, discrimination, or hostility towards the object of the “phobia”. Often this attitude is based on prejudices and is a particular case of most xenophobia. These non-clinical phobias are typically used as labels cast on someone by another person or some other group.

Feel free to add additional things you may have heard from your own experience in the comment section.

“…don’t need surgery to be female.”

“…just as female as any other female.”

“…it’s between the ears not between the legs.”

“…just an after market vagina.”

“…when archeologist dig you up a thousand years from now…”

“…but, I’d have to dilate.”

“…you’re privileged.”

“…they like my six inch neoclit.”

“…just sooooooo elitist.”

“…more trannier than thou.”

“…we’re all queer.”

“…can’t because I have a medical issue.”

“…have to live under constant fear of attack.”

“…you’re just self-loathing.”

“…if you didn’t have so much internalized…”

“…have so much in common.”

“…that’s just plain transphobic.”

“…did you hear what that cis female said.”

“…are you going to Southern Comfort?”

“…why should my genitals even matter?”

“…you are homophobic.”

“…will I see you at the support group tonight.?

“…I can’t wait for Pride Day.”

“…think you’re better than I am.”

“…is another thing separatists do.”

“…so where do you go to the bathroom?”

“…it was ball faced discrimination.”

“…you’re a sister, that’s why.”

“…I had my orchi.”

“…I identify as lesbian.”

“…that damn DSM.”

“…I don’t have a disorder.”

“…did you sign the petition?”

“…Thomas Beatty is a man.”

“…don’t you call me a tranny.”

“…that word is a perjorative.”

“…don’t they ever read the media Style Guide.”

“…it started with a bee sting.”

“…oh, I’m a trans women.”

“…I love hir…ze too.”

“…we don’t allow transphobic comments here.”

“…I was mam’ed today.”

“…have you been to the Rose Room?”

“…on the gender spectrum.”

“…transgender, but I’m really transsexual.”

“…you’ll never be a real woman.

“…so what, no one ever sees my genitals anyhow.”

“…normative…”

“…did I tell you I’m a feminist?”

“…take that tripe somewhere else.”

“…and I thought you would understand.”

“…then I became the real me.”

“…my wife completely understands.”

“…I went en femme.”

“…vote for her, she’s trans.”

“…I’m not sure our gay brothers and sisters…”

“…I don’t define myself that way.”

“…the troll shows its ugly face.”

“…I’m non op.”

“…I should have that right.”

“…’facepalm’…”

“…well, Julia Serano says…”

“…I feel I need to give something back.”

“…what’s so magical about a penis that makes it define sex?”

Of course there are many, many more…but my all time favorite:

“… you are transgender whether you like it or not.”

Unlike some back then, and most today, I accomplished my transition almost entirely on my own.  I didn’t attend support groups.  I didn’t belong to any clubs.  I didn’t attend any conventions.  In most regards, I didn’t even know there were such things until much later.  And, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I didn’t come to know and use the internet until 2002, long after the fact.  When I came upon the inevitable obstacles faced in transition I negotiated them myself.  Then and now, I never saw myself as the armor plated warrior forging forth on this “do or die” quest.  I just knew there was something that needed to be done and set out to do it the best way I could given my circumstances…there were a lot of stumbles.

I never lived under any delusions during this time.  I was quite educated and fully understood the limitations of sex change surgery.  Intellectually, I realized that there had to be some biophysiological reason for being how I was, even if there was little scientific research at the time to justify it.  In the same vein, I also knew that there appeared to be no reason for me to suspect that I was in anyway physically intersex.  It would be a lie to say that there were not times when I wondered why I was what I was…but, not at all a stretch to say that I never spent a whole lot of time thinking about it.  I was what I was, had very much come to grips with it and that, as they say, was that.  As well, though I certainly wanted to pass, be seen, and accepted as a female, whether I was or not was not of any particular importance.  I did the best I could, which was actually quite good…much later on I had a bit of cosmetic surgery and, of course, did much better.

Way back then, though I had run into a few others while working for a short time in a New Orleans female impersonation bar, the Gunga Den, I had no transsexual friends.  Regardless of what any of the neo modernists say these days, at least in New Orleans, there were two distinct groups…transsexuals and everybody else, the queens.  The queens knew who they were and transsexuals knew who we were…the difference between us was very apparent, and both groups recognized that.  There was almost always mutual respect and there was no hierarchy.  When, on occasion, there would be scuttlebutt that one of the girls had their sex change everyone wished them well…invariably these girls then simply disappeared.  I longed for the day that would be me.

As an engineer, I had used the internet, but only as a tool to facilitate my career.  In 2001 I bought my first computer and signed up for internet service.  Probably like many of you I was blown away.  It wasn’t long before I discovered the huge amount of information that was on the net about transsexualism.  At first, I was mesmerized.  I was stunned with all of the information, envious of the TS girls who now had virtual “how to” manuals on gender reassignment.  I spent hours and hours in my free time jumping from link to link absorbing everything I could on the subject…I was fascinated.  However, it wasn’t long before I sensed something was just plain wrong with the cyberspace picture I was looking at.

I noticed that though there appeared to be different factions within the TS/CD cybersphere, there was still a sense of recognition that transsexuals were different than the rest.  Even ten years ago, though some say transgender as a group has existed for decades and roll out the data to prove it, the term transgender did not saturate the net as it does today.  For the most part, it seemed that when transgender was discussed it was in the context of a political movement, not an identity…that’s how I tracked the term.  Then more and more, astoundingly fast, almost exponentially, it seemed that people were not part of the transgender, they were a transgender.  Less and less one ever saw anyone admitting to being a crossdresser or transvestite, almost overnight it appeared that all of the crossdressers and transvestites disappeared.  I thought that strange.  I still do.  And, then there was the GLBT.  Again, even ten years ago GLBT was not a given.  Oh, it certainly was there enough to say it was established, but one easily saw just GLB as much as they saw GLBT written on the internet.  That too quickly changed, and by 2003 GLBT was as prevalent as transgender was.

But most disturbing to me was the threads I encountered on the online Yahoo Groups.  Blogs didn’t permeate the internet in the early 2000s…Yahoo Groups, and others like them, did.  I was not prepared for the shock.  Reading some of these group threads I came to find out that I was transgender and if I said I wasn’t I was simply in denial.  I was told in no uncertain terms that because I was transgender I was expected to accept and support whatever cause these online transgender divas and their posse said I should…and, if I didn’t I was transphobic.  I learned I was also to do the same with regard to the gay rights movement…and, if I didn’t I was homophobic.  If I disagreed with the transgender philosophy in any way I was termed a bigot, was said to be self-loathing, and suffering from an internalized something or other…and called more names that I care to remember, or repeat if I did.  I was informed that there was absolutely no difference between me and a transvestite because we were all on what they called a gender spectrum and to say otherwise meant that I felt myself superior to everyone.  Being stealth was a huge no-no; I was told I was still in the closet and living in shame.  The fact that I was post op only meant that I had privilege and nothing else, everyone else was just as female as I was and none of them needed to have sex change surgery to be that way.  Further, me having GRS would never make me a real woman, just a transgender woman…I most definitely could never escape from being transgender.  Many of the transgender took great pains in insulting gender reassignment surgery…calling it an aftermarket vagina that made no difference at all…the old “when archeologists dig up your bones a thousand years from now they will label you a man anyhow” insult that is still trotted out to this day.  The list of things I was told and expected to do and support went on and on.  The leaders and vast majority of participants in these groups would not and did not tolerate any opposing position to their view of transgender.  There was really only one way…the transgender way.

I was pretty stunned by those online groups.  I joined quite a few.  In each one I posted a couple of time offering up alternative ideas, experiences, and points of view.  Each time I was shouted down in a hail of insults that redefine the term vile.  I left every single Yahoo Group I ever joined within a week or so…sometimes after only a couple of days.  And, within a few months of discovering them, backed completely out of their internet debate everywhere.  I didn’t enter back into it for several years.

As vicious as the Yahoo Groups were they paled in comparison to the advent of the blogs when they came into vogue.  Though there were relatively few Yahoo Groups, I one day found there were hundreds and hundreds of transgender blogs that picked up right where the online groups left off.  They spouted the same transgender ideology…they had the same types of leaders…and, they were just as static, just as nasty and just as insulting.  There was, however, a difference.  First of all, the transgender movement and the gay rights movement were absolutely and completely welded at the hip to each other…debate one of them and you quickly found yourself debating both.  But more importantly, by 2005 there were hundreds and hundreds of thousands more people online than there was just a few years earlier.  The sheer volume of transgender exploded onto the internet in just a few short years and each and every one of them had scoured cyberspace.  Many of them were a walking textbook on gender theory and the history of everything related to gender.  They spoke of the early transsexual pioneers as if they were best friends.  The vast majority would tell you they were transgender but, of course, were also quick to add they were transsexual…transgender “is an umbrella” don’t you know.  Crossdressers had apparently become extinct and only a transphobic bigot would even mention the word transvestite…everyone, it seemed, was transsexual.  On these new and most numerous blogs saying certain things or holding certain opions would get you banned and silenced in a heartbeat.  The transgender movement had evolved to cult like status and they were not interested in debating anything.

However, some of us, admittedly a very, very few of us, started to challenge the transgender.  Amazingly, a few of us managed to do so and were not banned or silenced in the process.  Our experience didn’t match up with what the transgender were insisting was our case.  We didn’t feel oppressed; we didn’t feel in danger when we walked out the door each day.  Healthcare wasn’t an issue to us, doctors treated us just fine when we went in.  We didn’t understand why gay men should be able to speak on our behalf just because…in fact, we didn’t feel any innate personal connection to the gay rights movement at all.  We could see no reason to be out, proud, and vocal about being transsexual.  Also, we felt we had left transsexualism behind when we had GRS and felt no compulsion to other ourselves by being trans something or other.  Many of us were heterosexual, some engaged or even married and resented the insinuation that “we are all queer”, which we quite often heard.  We didn’t support every single cause the transgender raised anymore than any other man or woman might or might not.  We were told that things were the way they were regardless if everything in our personal book of experience said differently…whether we liked it or not.  There were many other conflicts we had with the transgender but the most grievous was that we felt we were being held captive within a movement we never asked or wanted to join and had never in anyway felt any connection to.

These objections went over like the proverbial lead brick in the comment threads of the blogs.  The transgender as a whole continued to speak, grant interviews, lobby, and star in documentaries stating their ideology, never once acknowledging not everyone who was transsexual agreed with all, or even most, of what they were saying.  We were told repeatedly that no one was holding us captive to their movement in the same breath that we were also told we should “not let the door hit us in the ass on the way out” …which, of course, implies that we were.  To the transgender, we were traitors to there movement.  There was no debate.  There was no discussion.  The transgender responded to our objections to being colonized and, by proxy, being represented by them with the same insults, shout downs, and silencing that they claimed conservatives and hate mongers presented to them…what being good for the goose definitely not being good for the gander.

We were branded transsexual separatists.  The transgender hated us.

We are called separatists because we don’t want to be represented or associated with a transgender movement that has claimed forever that they don’t hold us captive but represent us anyway.  I know…pretty screwy, huh?  Though we don’t buy into identity politics and the transgender know it, we are still condescendingly told that we have the right to identify anyway we want.  Others take great pains to point to the fact that our numbers are quite small…as if that matters.   Well, if the wishes of a few are unimportant, by their own logic, the mainstream and society as a whole should have every legitimate right to ignore the transgender completely.  That, of course, is unacceptable to the transgender.  Again, what’s good for the goose doesn’t apply to the gander.

Most of us that would be known to the transgender as transsexual separatists actually support much of what transgender represents.  But, because we don’t march in lock step on every issue and want no part in their movement as far as the transgender are concerned we may as well not agree with them on any.

This is the story of why I, and others who might agree with me, are called transsexual separatists and why the transgender hate us.

If calling bullshit on pregnant men…a women can have a penis…castrations redefined as gender reassignment surgery…con artists who claim to be intersex…spontaneous sex changes…the cultural elimination of transvestites…transition by bee sting…men with penis preaching feminism to feminists…change of birth certificate just because…non op transsexuals…gender spectrums…cock as neoclit…etc ad nauseum because I don’t agree with every transgender absurdity, despise their lack of acknowledgement that many feel as I do, and reject being held captive by a political movement I feel no connection with…then I’m proud to be referred to as a transsexual separatists.    

Their home planet is, of course, the GLB.  Aside from just a very few blogs, including this one and none with any particular influence, every trans blog and trans activist organization is statically connected to the GLB.  A quick glance at any and every trans news feed available will quickly reveal as many, or nearly as many, posts on entirely GLB issues as there are with feeds that are entirely trans related.  Those same activists, their blogs, and new feeds support, across the board, every issue that resides on the GLB agenda…specifically ENDA, marriage equality, and any legislation that prohibits discrimination on any level.  There is a reason for that…the very vast majority of trans people who are out, proud, vocal, and consider themselves an activist are also GLB identified.  (I applaud them for this.  On many occasions I’ve expressed the view that discrimination on any level is not just and the GLB and homosexual T should lobby for any right they don’t have but feel they should.)  These trans people gravitated to the GLB when they transitioned and most seem to feel comfortable nowhere else.

Unfortunately or not, however, trans world is also part of a bigger scheme involving the real world…the mainstream…the whole of society…those whose life doesn’t revolve around the GLB and all things trans.  Living in the real world is seldom an issue for those of us who have transitioned and assimilated into it, going about our business as a part of the whole.  Unfortunately for sure, however, it is a huge dilemma for trans world.  For if trans world is but a small moon around the GLB planet, the real world is the sun that sets on both of them.  This puts trans world in the unenviable position of being held captive by the all powerful Oz that is the GLB which is, in turn, held captive by society and the mainstream.  Not a good place to be if you live in trans world.

To gain the respect and all important acceptance they desire, trans world has to first sell themselves to the GLB and then take on real world.  How is that going for them?  I would suppose that would depend on perspective. 

If one would ask those in trans world I’m sure they would hear that great strides have been made.  Trans world would state how many cities, counties, and states now offer legal protection to them prohibiting discrimination on the basis of gender identity and expression.  Admittedly, those in trans world have done quite well over the years in that regard…that’s a good thing.  Trans world would also point to the increased number of hate crime laws that are on the books…also admirable.  Aside from local and state legislation, corporate America has also inserted non discrimination clauses into their policy manuals, as have many lower and higher education institutions.  Clearly, trans world has made great strides in obtaining legal recognition.  But, legal recognition is just half of the trans world holy grail.  What about acceptance?

To gain the acceptance that trans world desires they have to navigate two obstacles; the first is the GLB.  Back in the day, trans world was pretty tight with the GLB, but over the past five to ten years…not so much.  The Human Rights Campaign, the breath of the GLB movement, is all but a curse word to trans world.  If so many of those in trans world were not atheists, Joe Solomnese would be Satan.  To those in trans world, in the vernacular, HRC done them wrong.  HRC has put the GLB first in almost every campaign…the most vile to trans world being their support for a federal ENDA law that didn’t specifically include transgender and all of trans world.  Many in trans world will hold on to the HRC’s support of that version of ENDA as unforgivable until the day they die…considering that the vast majority of trans world is made up of self identified lesbians and gays to start with that is somewhat hard to understand I think.  Still, that act of support on ENDA by HRC was unforgivable, trans world felt left out, or thrown under the bus, as they so often liked to say.  To anyone who’s ever transitioned and dealt with gays and lesbians, it’s not hard to understand why HRC, a GLB first organization, supported the last version of federal ENDA.  The GLB has never accepted the transgender, or transsexuals for that matter, as anything but homosexual…I don’t think they ever will.  The GLB is no better and probably worse that the real world in wrapping their arms around the concept of someone changing their sex.  Anyone who doubts that has simply lost touch with reality.  Nonetheless, the GLB organized and quietly cultivated trans world into their agenda, never recognizing them for anything other than another form of GLB, in an ongoing and successful effort to further their own political goals.  Proof?  With little exception, non discrimination recognition that has come the way of  trans world has always come after, sometimes significantly so, the GLB obtained theirs.  But the ENDA fiasco really upset trans world…they were “sick and tired of being sick and tired” of getting crapped on by the GLB…and they let it be known, and still are.   What was the GLB response to this revolt?  Well, not so good.

As trans world began to throw fit after fit towards the GLB for leaving them behind in the fight for rights and acceptance the GLB took a very understandable, if unstated, position.  The leading GLB activist simply said it ain’t so…and continued paying lip service, at best, to trans world just as before.  The GLB rank and file, however, took up the standard of what the GLB really felt.  As trans world activist and their lemming bloggers became more vehement in their criticism, the GLB soldiers more and more seemed united in a response that basically had one message:  “Fuck you.  If you TRANNIES don’t like the way the GLB is handling things then go do it yourself.  Who the hell invited you into the GLB anyhow.”  Now, of course, trans world can do little for themselves so being told to fuck off by the GLB, as is becoming the case more and more, is kind of like using a hand grenade to crack an egg.  Everyone in trans world has absolutely had it drilled into them from day one that the GLB and trans world have to be, and forever are, inseparable.  How many times have we all heard that what’s good for the GLB is good for trans world…it’s a trans world mantra.  Unfortunately, however, the GLB doesn’t buy into what’s good for you is good for me because, remember, the GLB sees trans world as just another form of GLB who can help them in their political-social quest for rights, not as people who are really men or really women and have changed or are changing their sex.  To the GLB, trans world is just a bunch of over-the-top gays and lesbians…who don’t know they are just over-the-top gays and lesbians.  To the GLB, trans world is also saturated with a bunch of drama queens to boot.  Considering trans world jumps on everything the GLB says or does that doesn’t quite jive with their sensibilities, who can blame them.  No, trans world has not gained the acceptance and respect from the GLB they demand.  At the rate they are going, acceptance and respect aside, trans world is even quickly bleeding out what little tolerance capital they were ever afforded by the GLB in the first place.  Still, trans world hangs on to the GLB life ring with a steel grip…both unable and unwilling to let go of what they perceive as their greatest hope.

But, the GLB is an easy jump compared to the real world.  Trans world in the sphere of the GLB has only one group to appeal to.  But in the realm of the whole, they have both the GLB and the real world to contend with.  Trans world just doesn’t seem to grasp that.  If they do, they never talk about it…ever.  Trans world just doesn’t seem to ever want to make the intellectual jump of recognizing the difference between tolerance, embracement, and simply coming to terms with reality.  The tact of trans world within the real world appears to be that of forcing tolerance through legal and legislative action…assuming they will be embraced later down the road…and then ignoring the reality associated with both of them.  Somewhere along in there they throw in a bit of education.  To me, it’s the trans world attempt to educate others on trans world that has been their downfall.  Their efforts at educating the real world has consisted of autobiographical books, television interviews and documentaries, and governmental/legislative/municipal lobbying.  Trans world has almost a fetish about being understood.  And, as in step as they are to their own, trans world, sensibilities it’s amazing how completely out of touch they are with those of the other 99% of the world.

When one reads the autobiography of a trans world inhabitant invariably they are immerged in a mind fuck.  More often than not a family, complete with children, is destroyed in the name of the author’s undying quest to be who they really are.  To everyone but others in trans world this story of coming out is characterized as brave…not so much to the spouse and children and extended family whose worlds are being turned upside down by, to everyone else, a selfish, self centered and plain weird husband (or wife) hell bent on sacrificing the lives of others for their own best interests.  To the real world, whose values are based on thousands of years of nuclear family units, these stories are no different than one spouse divorcing another after cheating for many years.  No brownies points for the novel approach.  Thankfully, I doubt many in real world seek out trans world autobiographies for their reading pleasure. 

The television interviews and documentaries are another story.  On these we get to see trans world in its glory.  Trans world gets the spotlight that everyone on these programs obviously desires so much; trans world gets a chance to be understood…with a mass audience held captive.  If trans world would stick to the facts and not come across as the authority on everything and anybody disagreeing with them is ignorant they might would have had a chance.  These trans world interviews and documentaries have become a standing joke, even within trans world, yet they roll on like an unstoppable tide.  They are most predictable.  There are the endless shots of the trans world heroine putting on make up and dressing up…the obligatory I’ve always known I was different.  Most are married, some claim their wife supports them, as the camera pans to the completely broken up spouse…they are only attracted to other “women”, other trans world women.  They may or may not have had or even seek GRS…either way they don’t need gender reassignment surgery to be a real female.  Some claim to have some obscure intersex condition…and then there is the infamous “bee sting” cause.  Of course they support the GLBT.  They are more often than not alienated from their families, which seldom understands them.  They love football, hunting, playing pool, cigars, race cars, and motor mechanics.  And, always last but not least, they are in everyway as female as any other female watching the program…they just came to that point in a different way.  Sounds good to me, there’s only one problem.  The real world looks at these programs and says what the fuck.  Here is this physically unattractive man in front of me, in make-up, playing dress up who has destroyed his family, can’t get a job, comes across as goofier than shit, telling me he might or might not have a penis but is just as female as any other woman. 

Perhaps I was a bit harsh in my example above.  Admittedly I took certain aspects of many interviews and documentaries.  My point is that, except to those in trans world, who simply live for the next program, the participants in these documentaries just don’t come across as female…in any way.  Every one is filled with statements and concepts that the real world just doesn’t buy.  Those in the real world find their common sense assaulted and their sensibilities insulted by these programs.  I, a post operative transsexual myself, experience the same thing when I have watched them.  These programs do accomplish one thing though, I think.  They expose their audience to trans world.  And real world, at least in America, has reached a point that some pride themselves in sympathizing and showing a level of tolerance for anything different…even trans world.  The baby boomers of the hippy era have come of age and there is a growing sense of live and let live among them.

Lastly there is the trans world efforts to lobby on the local/state/federal level for legislative protection.  Now, I don’t lobby, but I have seen the class photos of those who do lobby governmental organizations.  I’m not even going to go there.  Trans world is and always will be…trans world.  Nonetheless, not so much on the federal level but on the local and state level trans world has done extremely well…note all the accomplishments I mention way up above here.  All of the local and state legal protection they have gained (with the great support of the GLB) plainly illustrates a sizable portion of society is quite prepared to show trans world their tolerance.  In fact, I’d venture to say they have almost as much tolerance with the real world as they do with the GLB.  But what does that really say?  Not much.

I think I read the other day that somewhere near 70% of the United States population lives under some form of law or ordinance that protects trans world from employment discrimination.  I think that’s great.  The only issue is that I’ve seen no data that the unemployment rate of trans world has declined.  On the contrary, every “survey” that appears seems to be worse than the one before in that regard.  Interestingly enough, it doesn’t even appear that the GLB are much interested in hiring anyone from trans world.  Clearly real world is not buying trans world as any kind of viable labor pool…neither is GLB.  Both may tolerate trans world for the sake of political correctness or in the case of the GLB, political gain, but apparently they are nowhere near acceptance.  And, if all of the statistics one reads are correct, violent crimes against trans world are on the increase…hate crime legislation apparently hasn’t made a dent in that.  When I lived in Dallas, I ran up against a lot of those in trans world who were at one time or another into prostitution.  Contrary to popular dogma, I never met one who had to hook.  They were prostitutes because they wanted to be prostitutes, not because they had to.  I’m sure there are some who are in such dire straights that they have to prostitute themselves though.  That’s very sad.  But the overwhelming number of attacks on trans world occur on dark streets, in the depths of night, where trans world is somewhere they have no real reason to be if they valued their safety…where no one with any sense of wanting to stay alive would catch themselves.  And, no amount of hate crime legislation is ever going to stop those people from sooner or later being the victim of violent crime just because there is a hate crime law.

So, trans world chugs on.  The GLB treats them with almost open disdain when not outright ignoring them.  Their stories become stranger.  Their sensibilities become more sensitive…just call them TRANNY and you’ll find out just how sensitive.  They have no sense of humor.  They are obtaining their legal protection due to tolerance.  Yet, to hear them talk, they live in abject fear of violent attack.  The legal protections have done nothing to increase their employment, even within the GLB sphere of influence.  The GLB themselves are increasingly becoming aggravated with their drama and criticism, yet trans world in unable and unwilling to strike out on their own.  What tolerance the real world, and the GLB, offers up is always offset with the reality of not being accepted, a concept they refuse to acknowledge.  Hate crime legislation is having little if any effect.  From my perspective, trans world has made many steps backward in their claim to have moved forward over the past five years…everything has changed in trans world, but remains the same everywhere else.  Their war cry of transphobia has turned everyone off, even many feminists and GLB types who might otherwise be their ally…anything that doesn’t line up with trans world is instantly branded transphobic…that’s great to the trans world that draws the word like a sword but nauseating to everyone else.  The trans world activists of the past ten years are pretty much still around, beating the same drum…to the same tune…the same tune that has done nothing significant for transsexuals since the last birth certificate legislation was passed nearly 35 years ago.  The new breed of trans world activist come across more like juvenile delinquent punks than women…but they pick up the trans world dogma from the internet and plunge right in with all the zeal of a young Spartan prince. 

It’s clear that trans world is failing and they’ve lost their message…lost their way, whatever their way ever was.  It appears that not even shifting into full survival mode will stop trans world from imploding, losing what little integrity they ever had in a pink mist of vitriol, anger, and absurdity.

I live in the Houston area and have followed this case from the start.  At first I was somewhat sympathetic.  Initial reports were pretty straight forward.  Nikki was a transgender woman who had married.  Her firefighter husband was tragically killed in a raging blaze.  The ex-wife learned that Araguz was born male, contested the marriage, contested the distribution of the dead husband’s benefits, and filed suit to declare the marriage void and for the death benefits to go to the biological children of the husband.  The fact that a post operative TS had married and that marriage was now being questioned was important to me and, I thought, important to many post operative females who had entered into a heterosexual marriage everywhere in the United States.  Nikki and her deceased husband Thomas were quite attractive and, from the first reports, the circumstances seemed perfect for a test case challenging the right of post operative transsexuals to enter into legitimate heterosexual marriages.  But, as the facts surfaced, I couldn’t have been more mistaken.

Almost immediately the Araguz case became the standard not for heterosexual post ops marrying, but for same-sex marriage; the case became the first child of the GLBT and their marriage equality quest.  For her part, the news first reported Nikki’s stance as being that of a heterosexual female…then her stance then became that of the transgender, some type of other female…then she stated categorically that she was not transgender and asked the GLBT to back off because they were hurting her case (and, of course, they didn’t)…and, then, she started taking part in GLBT parades and once again became the poster girl for the GLBT.  The Dallas Voice, a gay newpaper, listed her as one of the ten most newsworthy  events of 2011.

A local Houston transgender leader, Cristan Williams could then be seen accompanying Araguz every time she went to court.  Every time I saw this huge person on the news reports I cringed.  Williams quickly became her pundit, defending every aspect of Nikki Araguz, posting numerous YouTube videos in support, and appearing as an expert on everything Nikki Araguz and transgender.  Predictably, and almost like clockwork, Araguz was then said to be intersex.  I cringed more, hoping the GLBT and the Houston transgender scene would evaporate.  But, things got worse.

Videos of Nikki on the sensational talk shows surfaced where she said she was a man.  It was revealed that Nikki was a long term participant in the Houstan TG scene.  Videos surfaced of her saying she was transsexual, with no mention of being intersex.  But, worst of all, it turned out that when Nikki and Thomas got married she was preop.  A few months after they were married, Nikki had GRS…her surgeon stated there was nothing remarkable about her bits…apparently, from an anatomical point of view, Nikki was male.  Tactics changed to present the view that even if she was not legally married before her GRS due to Texas common law marriage recognition, she was now…and before Thomas died.  Several issues that had no bearing on the case were hammered to death by Williams and the local TG community…did or didn’t Thomas know Nikki was transsexual and the opposing attorney was unethical, were just two.  Williams just couldn’t seem to let the Araguz case go.  Telephone conversations were recorded, she had a debate she was more than a little proud of, and the YouTube support videos continued…over thirty and counting.

Nikki also just couldn’t seem to stay out of the limelight.  She granted multiple television interviews…every one more convoluted than the other.  Every one of them doing nothing for her case.  Nikki’s attorneys seemed unable or unwilling to stop either the interviews Araguz was giving or the YouTube videos Williams was posting.  I choose to believe that the attorneys couldn’t possibly have sanctioned either…certainly they didn’t think either was helping in any way.  Then it was announced that Araguz was to be filmed for a reality television show. 

As the months went by, to an outsider it had to be hard to walk away with any other opinion of the case than it was all about Nikki.  All I ever saw after the reports of the first week or two was one huge clusterfuck.  The television interviews Nikki held were an embarrassment…and, the local transgender community support under Williams’ leadership…more so.  The national transgender support for Nikki and their blogs seems to have never wavered.  No matter how absurd the detail, the transgender community and the GLBT, as usual, supported her…complete with the customary shouts of homophobia, transphobia, republican boogie men, Religious Reich based anger.  The fact that Nikki came across as a self serving, self centered person with a questionable integrity and legal position was beside the point.  She was transgender…she was GLBT…and by God, they supported her.  For me and many others, we wished her and her case would simply disappear and become the barely notable footnote of the year that only the transgender and the GLBT would remember in a few years.  We couldn’t have been that lucky.

In May of last year Araguz was arrested and charged with felony theft for stealing a Rolex watch from a woman back in February of that same year.  Araguz apparently denied the charges until a pawn shop owner testified that she tried to pawn the watch.  At this point, Nikki became sort of the laughing stock of everyone…even the GLBT.  One well known GLBT blog, Queerty, had this to say: 

“Apparently some woman has accused Nikki of drugging her, taking her $2,850 Rolex watch, and trying to sell it at a Houston pawn shop. Nikki lost her inheritance case, but she’s appealing the ruling which means she now has two court cases going on simultaneously! Ooooh, two-timing courtroom drama. We wonder which Texas gentleman will be crazy brave enough to step into her legal maelstrom as her [reality] show’s romantic suitor—whoever it is, bring a good lawyer, buddy.”

Crazy…they got that right.

So, Nikki got caught stealing a watch.  She said she didn’t do it, but accepts a plea agreement that would put her in jail for thirty days…because, well, she did do it.  And, then, still unable to get her act together enough to even show up on time for her plea agreement and sentencing…Araguz once again shows up in the news.  She is now behind bars for showing up late for her court sentence, the second time she’s been late for court.  Nikki said, “I’m sorry.”  The Judge, who didn’t even allow her to sit down once she did show up said, “It’s too late for sorry.”

What a mess.

Once the local transgender community and the GLBT got involved how could it be anything else but a mess.

____________

Chrysanthemum LeFlores is not happy.  Mum, as she prefers to be called, was recently terminated from her position as a foundry operator at the Upstate Steel Company in northern Minnesota. 

Mum, formerly Gilbert Boggs, is a male-to-female transsexual who recently transitioned on the job of Upstate Steel.  He now walks with a limp.  Last Tuesday she was terminated.  “They said it was a safety issue, but I know better…the real reason they fired my ass is they just won’t let me be the woman I’ve always known I am.”  Mum says that after a twenty year career in the Army, a wife, family of four, and several stints as the president of her local steelworkers union she suddenly realized something wasn’t quite right.  “After I was arrested in my car while giving head to Destiny Marie [a local drag performer and known prostitute] it “suddenly came to me that I was really a woman” Mum says.  “I went to Southern Comfort [ a crossdresser convention] down in Georgia and they confirmed it.”  LeFlores then approached Upstate Steel about transitioning on the job.  “We pride ourselves in being an open, liberal and diverse company here at Upstate” said Robert Grange, President and CEO.  “We fully supported Gilbert in his lifestyle choice.”  We asked Grange what went wrong.  Grange stated that when “Mum” showed up on the foundry floor the first day he was in five inch rhinestone platform heels and a dress.  “While the safety inspector was trying usher Mum off the line she tripped on her skirt and her left foot slipped into a pot of molten steel…burned three toes right off.”  Mum, for her part, admits she “may not have dressed appropriately” that time, but still fails to understand why she was written up for a safety infraction.  Grange goes on to say it was the second infraction that sunk Mum’s boat.  “Our metallurgist came to me last Monday complaining about what looked like plastic in the latest batch of steel’s analysis.  He couldn’t understand how plastic could contaminate our steel.  Mum, was the supervisor of that pour…we called her in for an explanation.  Her entire head was wrapped in what looked like a bandage.  She admitted she had leaned too close to the crucible and her wig had caught fire.  She said she tried to put it out but in her enthusiasm her wig fell off into the pot, charring the bottom part of her earlobe and singing the entire back of her neck in the process.”  Grange said it was another near fatality not to mention a dent in his production.  “Do you have any idea how badly five pounds of Kanekalon can contaminate a batch of molten steel?”  Mum was terminated and OSHA was called in.  Our editors tried to get a comment from Bob Hopkins, regional director of OSHA but a source, on condition of remaining anonymous, said Hopkins would have no comment “until he quits laughing hysterically.”

__________

Sashalise Annalise Jones is finally at peace with herself.  Kim Pierce interviewed Peggy for this edition of the Sunday Supplement on a snowy December day for our human interest series.  In spite of the below freezing weather, Sashalise was resplendent in a pink camisole and chiffon mini.  Her make-up was immaculate, from her long eyelashes to her thick red lip gloss…her nails were perfectly manicured.  She looked every bit the renowned transgender activist she’d become.

KP  -  Sashalise, thank you so much for having me out this afternoon.

SA  -  You’re welcome, Kim.

KP  -  I’d like to ask you how you came to this place in life.

SA  -  Kim, it’s been a long journey.  I’d always known I was a woman deep inside.  When I turned forty nine I thought it was about time I did something about it.  The rest is history, as they say.

KP  -  Amazing…

SA  -  Yes, it really is.

KP  -  Tell me about it.

SA  -  Well, Kim, after my wife of twenty seven years helped me through college and walked with me up the corporate ladder I figured I had enough in our 401K for me to just walk out and follow my dreams…the kids were grown and out of the house…it was time.

KP  -  Was your wife supportive of your change?

SA  -  Oh, yes…absolutely.  She supported me entirely right up until her death.

KP  –  Oh?

SA  -  Yes, she committed suicide two days after I came out.

KP  -  I’m sorry for your loss.

SA  -  Thank you.

KP  -  You have seven children and twelve grandchildren.  How have they taken the change?

SA  -  They’re fine with it.  They are the best…very supportive.  I don’t see them as much as I’d like to though.

KP  -   When kids are far away that can happen I suppose…

SA  –  Well, my daughter lives next door, three of my sons live in the neighborhood, my other daughter lives just across town…only my last two live far away…over in Chelsey, twenty miles away…but they have there own lives now that they have grown up.  One has to cherish the time we have together…We all got together four years ago and had a great time.  It was one day after I came out…they were very surprised, but quite supportive…very supportive.

KP  -   Your house is lovely.  I really like that high fence you have.

SA  -  Thank you.  My daughter who lives next door put the fence in.  She ran right out and had that done the day after we all got together last.

KP  -  I see…

SA  -  She said it was to keep the wierdos out.

KP  -  Tell me about your transition.

SA  -  There’s really not much to tell, Kim.  I got fed up with living a lie and just decided it was time to be the woman I always knew I was.

KP  -  At forty nine years old.

SA  -  At forty nine years old, yes.

KP  -  Amazing…

SA  -  Yes…isn’t it.

KP -  Was transitioning painful for you.

SA  -  Yes…very painful.  Every time I pluck my eyebrows or remove these plastic nails it’s excruciating.

KP  -  What about the surgeries…

SA  -  I haven’t had any surgeries.

KP  -  No?

SA  -  No.  I don’t need to have surgery to be a woman.  Being a female is between the ears, not between the legs.  Besides, I don’t have a penis anymore, I have a neo-clit…it give me pleasure.

KP  -  What is the difference between a penis and a neo-clit, Sash?

SA  -   A penis is what boys have…a neo-clit is what woman like us have.

KP  -  So…there is no difference then?

SA  -  None…

KP  -  Is it hard finding gay lovers?

SA  -  Oh…I don’t have any problem finding lovers, but I don’t date gay men.

KP  -  Then, who do you date?

SA  -  I only date straight men when I go out.  There are loads and loads of straight men at the gay bars that only enjoy real women like me.  Men want women who look and act like real women should…like I look.  They are so turned on with us that they don’t even take us anywhere else but bed.  Kim, I have one girlfriend who has been dating the same straight man for years now…every few days he comes by and sucks on her neo-clit and she porks him, but they’ve never been anywhere else but her apartment because he’s so turned on with her…

KP  -  You mean turned on by her neo-clit that’s really a penis but which is different?

SA  -  Yes.

KP  -  Amazing…I had no idea that straight me liked to suck neo-clits and get banged in the ass with them.

SA  -  Amazing, yes, but there are straight men like that.

KP  -  Have you found Mr. Right yet.

SA  -  No…I’m a lesbian.

KP  -  A lesbian?

SA  -  Yes, I don’t like straight men or gay men.  I like women…real women like me who also have neo-clits.  Real women with neo-clits are the true females of the world.  We know what feminism is better than anyone.

KP  -  Sashalise, you are on the board of four national GLBT organizations, all six of your state organizations, you speak at countless transgender conventions, have lobbied at both the state and federal level for GLBT equality, have six blogs, and coordinate the local TDOR.  How do you do it?

SA  -  Easy…I don’t define myself as being transgender.  I’m just another woman…just as much of a woman as you are.

Sashalise moves for the first time during our interview.  She dusts the snow off that’s been building up on her camisole and, in the process, brushes her face…one of her false eyelashes has frozen solid and flakes off, falling into the snow that has built up on her bare legs.  Sashalise picks it up nonchalantly, as if I hadn’t noticed, and flicks it onto the floor.  It lands on a high heeled foot that covered with three inches of snow.  Real woman or not, with only one eyelash she looks like a raccoon whose make-up job has gone terribly wrong…

KP  -  Isn’t it a little cool for you outside, Sash…it’s almost a blizzard out this afternoon.

SA  -  Kim, real women must suffer to be beautiful.

KP  -  Even if that means ignoring the icicles that are forming on your nose, Sash?

SA  -  You don’t have to be insulting, Kim.

KP  -  Well, forgive me, Sash, but it’s freezing out here and you’re half naked…I’m just trying to understand, that’s all.

SA  -  You can’t understand, Kim…you’re not a diva.

KP  -  No, I’m definitely not a Diva…I apologize.  Let’s move on and wrap this up.  I’m still trying to understand.  You always knew deep inside you were a woman but waited until you were forty nine years old to admit it…when you did, your wife supported you whole heartedly and completely for two days after you came out before she committed suicide…you haven’t seen your family for years since they found out you were transgender the day after you came out, even your daughter who lives next door, who installed a fence between the two of you…you’ve not had gender reassignment surgery nor intend to and you’ve got a neo-clit that is really a penis, but not really…you don’t date gay men only straight men who like to have sex with real women who have neo-clits, which are really a penis…and virtually every spare minute of your free time is involved with fighting for the rights of others just like you, yet you don’t define yourself by being transgender but as just another woman who is as real a woman as any other.  Can you possibly understand why your story and you, yourself, sound like the craziest fucking thing that ever came out of the mouth of a human being?

SA  -  No, I can’t.  But, I can see how you don’t understand…you’re not intersex.

KP  -  WHAT!  Intersex?  Now you are intersex?  When did you find that out?

SA  -  Yes, I’m intersex.  I found out when I measured one of my fingers and found out it was longer than it should have been for a guy.  Thinking back about it, that finger probably explains everything.  From what I’ve read me being intersex and being able to father children was probably a miracle.  I think it may be even more than that…I found a scar on my tummy and think maybe when I was an infant the doctors removed my female organs.  I checked my medical records and they say it was appendicitis…but there are a few words that I can’t read on the report and I know in my heart it was just a cover-up because they didn’t want me know I was really a girl…happens all the time.  The internet is full of stories like that.

KP  -  With all of your activism surely you know that many people in society – even those women who have had gender reassignment surgery – find narratives like yours to be extremely suspect.  What do you have to say about those people.

SA  -  Those who have had gender reassignment surgery are separatist who don’t count…that group are sick and mean people who refuse to let the GLBT assimilate them for the better cause.  The rest are right wing religious zealots, self loathing hate mongers who suffer from internalized homophobia and are actively transphobic in there quest to deny those like me the same equality and rights as everyone else.

KP  -  Amazing…

SA  -  Isn’t it…

This fascinating interview ended with the author just as confused as she’d ever been with the enigmatic transgender diva, Sashalise.  When the tape recorder was turned off, Sash immediately jumped up from the outside patio chair, brushed the snow off of her and ran to the adjoining jacuzi.  Once submerged by the warm water she lit a cigar and called her bookie…and, then winked at me from the only eye that had eyelashes.

“When we first married, 33 years ago, our political views were closely aligned. As I’ve aged however, my views have become almost 180 degrees from his. I’m now a democrat, and an extremely liberal one at that. And he’s still a conservative republican. He has loosened up on some of his views thankfully. We have agreed to not talk politics, and that’s easily done. What’s tough for mr. straight guy however is being married to a transgender guy, no-op, no hormones guy.”

Aside from the fact that I don’t think two men could legally marry anywhere thirty three years ago…I doubt it’s all that tough.

“mr. straight guy”…?

”married” for 33 years…?

Yeah, right…

I bet he was always mistaken for a little girl when he was growing up…

There will never be Enough Non-Sense!

“My boss works in the corporate office.  He is not to be confused with my immediate supervisor, the site Project Manager…who is a great guy.  My boss is not a great guy. ”

I wrote about this (or as one of my detractors said, I “whined” about this) in a previous blog post entitled Sucks.

The post was about a project I was on out in the boondocks and how miserable the assignment I chose was.  One might notice in the above that I indicate that my immediate on-site supervisor, the site Project Manager was a great guy.  He was…however, my corporate supervisor…was not.  Well, things got worse but in spite of having an incompetent as a corporate boss, I trudged on.  A couple of weeks after I wrote that post, the project manager resigned.  And, when he did, so did a number of the construction supervisors I had developed very close rapports with.  The result of their resignations had major impacts on my position.  Allow me to give you some background.

What I do is project controls.  A good and simple definition of project controls is this:

“Project controls is that element of a project that keeps it on-track, on-time and within budget.”

Project controls (PC) is a subset of project management.  And, though project controls engineers more often than not know as much or more about construction management as the project management team does, seldom is it the other way around.  Most good project controls engineers started in project management and then, due to a gillion different reasons, settled into their current PC position.  That was the case with me.  In many ways it can be compared to quality assurance.  Just as quality assurance is charged with guaranteeing the project is constructed to specification, project controls is charged with assuring the project is built according to a well thought out and logical plan and that construction management sticks to that plan…and does so on-time, and with the amount of monetary and labor resources that were allocated.  QC assures that what is built is done correctly…PC gauges measures how the work is done.  Both QC and PC are independent and report directly to the overall site manager/project manager.  The rationale for their independency is that if there is a quality assurance or project controls issue and those two groups work for and report to construction management that the construction group would have the ability to simply squash whatever concern might be raised.  On projects, QC and PC are the project manager’s guns; construction management is their target.  That analogy implies there is an adversarial relationship between QC/PC and construction management.  In the past, twenty years or so ago, that was often the case, but not so much anymore.  Professional construction personnel now fully realize that their job is not made more difficult by the two groups, but considerably easier.

So, what’s my point?

When the project manager on my project resigned from the project, he was not replaced.  Instead, the construction manager was assigned to assume both roles, construction manager and project manager.

Things quickly digressed to the point that upon returning from the Christmas Holidays, one week ago today, I was more than miserable.  For the first time in my career I had found myself in a position that was simply unacceptable.  I had supervisors that were borderline incompetent, not to mention extremely difficult to communicate with.  I was shackled to an earned value system that made it all but impossible to measure project progress and a P7 schedule (I didn’t develop) that had 167 constraints I was forbidden to remove.  And, I was on a project that had no project manager.  To myself, I wondered just what the hell the company I was working for was thinking.  Last Monday night, I went home and told my husband I was resigning…he supported me completely.  Enough truly became…enough.

Tuesday morning, at 5:15, I sat down at my desk and wrote the following e-mail to my superior:

Mr. XXXX XXXXXXX:

 Please be advised this is my letter of resignation and two week notice.  Effective January 14, 2012 I will no longer be an employee of the XXXXXXXXX group.  Having spent two months in this position, I find that the overall approach and culture, as it applies to Project Controls, does not match my career goals and aspirations.  I fully realize I could be released from employment upon your receipt of this letter but in the event I’m not I will do my best to train my replacement or assist in any way that will minimize potential discontinuities within the XXXXX-XXXXXXXXX project.  Thank you for the opportunity to serve the XXXXXXXXX group.

I sent the e-mail…and waited…and waited.

I got no reply.  As monkeyed up as this project was, even to me not receiving any reply was downright weird.  Surely someone within the company would respond.  But, they didn’t.

The next day, last Wednesday, I was done…and I mean done.  I couldn’t make myself do any more work at all and staying even one more minute son-site was not an option.  I wrote another e-mail…it went like this:

In my resignation letter to you I mentioned I would stay on until next Friday to “train” my replacement.  In reality, there is nothing to train that person on, in event you could get someone in that quickly in the first place.  The schedule, which you aware I think is useless, can easily be handled by XXXXXXX or yourself.  The progress/earned hours process has crashed and is all but uncalculatable under the current circumstances you have presented me with; it has been a challenge on every front regarding the progress.  Construction management here on site could care less about either the schedule or progress; they are old school, used to doing it their way, and march to their own tune.    The truth is there is little I can offer my replacement in the way of training for it will be up to that person to wade through the issues they face…something I can’t help them with.  Upon sending this e-mail I will be leaving the project.  I’m done.

So, I punched in the e-mail address of my boss.  I immediately got a message at the top of the screen that said the e-mail was undeliverable because the e-mail address no longer exists.  Uh oh!  So, I changed the address to that of my boss’ boss…and got the same message.  That, I thought, was hilarious…but chuckled to myself that it kind of sucked for my boss and his boss, though.

Quickly, I called my counterpart at the corporate office (who was a super guy and of whom knew I had resigned) and told him the situation.  I told him to not look now, but I thought maybe our bosses had been fired.  He was shocked.  I told him I was done and leaving the project but if he thought about it to call me when he found out what was going on…he said he would.  I was already packed, had cleaned out my office, and had turned in my company cell phone, etc.  I signed out and left the most worthless, good for nothing, and miserable project I’d ever been on.

Once on the road, I called my husband and told him what had happened.  We both laughed, with him saying, “It’s a hell of a note when you’re trying to resign from your job and can’t find anyone to turn in your resignation to because they are being fired.”  Too true…

About two hours later, as I’m driving back to Houston, my friend from the corporate office calls me.  He said to me, “it’s official.”  It turns out that the afternoon of the morning I resigned they fired my boss…and his boss, the VP of Project Controls.  They also fired the CEO/COO and the VP of Construction Services.  The CEO/COO was said to have stepped down to pursue other interests…which is always corporate speak for being terminated.  While the two VPs and my boss were said to have taken a direction that was not conducive to the long term objective and goals of the company.  What a clusterfuck.  I’ve never been more happy to get out of Dodge in my life.

Quite a story, huh?

In other news…the project manager on the job above…who himself resigned around the first part of December got word of my departure.  Last Friday, two days after I left, he called me up and offered me a position working with him on a $955 million refinery expansion for a major oil company near where I live.  The position will be, as they say, on the owner’s side.  I will head up the project controls section and represent the owner.  The job is straight up project management, and I won’t have to move away…it’s close enough for me to be home each night.

Things work out…

I live in Texas.  Most of the time I’d add that I unfortunately live in Texas, but the truth is that Texas is not all that bad a place; I’m sure there are worse places to live.  But, Texas has one thing other states don’t have: Rick Perry.  I’m not a Perry fan at all.  He is the epitome of politician and to me wouldn’t know what the right thing to do was if his life depended on it.  Nonetheless, though I don’t care for Rick Perry at all I point him out because of how the GLBT took him on over a certain commercial he did.  There response to this ad illustrates perfectly how absolutely insane the GLBT has become.

I don’t like Perry and thought the thirty second campaign ad in question was him just proving to me, again, that he comes across with everything I don’t like about politicians in general and him specifically.  In the ad, Perry punches the obligatory Republican buzz buttons…gays in the military, prayer in school, government attacks on religion, blah, blah, blah.  Not surprisingly none of his positions in the ad are supported by the GLBT and they probably responded accordingly.  If the GLBT would have left it at that they’d have come out OK.  But, they took it one step further.

In the ad Perry is wearing a windbreaker that looks very similar to a jacket that was worn by Heath Leger in Brokeback Mountain.  The GLBT had an absolute field day with the fact that Perry wore a jacket that was similar to one that an actor in a gay themed movie wore…while briefly referring to DADT in a campaign ad.  And, when he did, that instantly made Perry a homosexual closet case or something.  Geeeez…the GLBT tribe needs to get out more.  Then again this is in perfect harmony with their general mindset of everyone is gay, they just don’t know it…including transsexuals.  Non-Sense.  As one person commented on a blog that addressed the brouhaha:

 “What are you going to do next, try and see if Perry is wearing the same type socks as Ledger…maybe you will claim gays are getting their revenge if Perry is wearing a light brown cowboy hat? Or maybe if Perry is shown wearing cowboy boots, a sight that is probably more common in TX than athletic shoes, this sight will delight in the revenge gays are getting. Seriously, you can’t make up such stupidity, particularly when you consider approximately 270 million Americans, at least, have never seen Brokeback Mountain.”

In other news…since Donald has come out as a trans duck, local activists have accused Snow White of being self loathing and experiencing internalized transphobia based on shame for not admitting she’s a drag queen.