No Such Thing

In “No Such Thing”, John Mayer says:

Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens

I didn’t either.  But, drama, as it’s mentioned above is a fact of life…

“Welcome to the real world,” she said to me

Condescendingly

Before I start, if I was single, and thirty five or forty years younger I’d go on a world wide, no holds barred quest to land John Mayer.  Cute as a bug in a rug just doesn’t do him justice…damn, he’s good looking.

But, back on topic Leigh’s post of a few days ago left some loose ends I must tie up.  First off, on the subject of banning…neither Elizabeth nor lisalee18wheeler are not banned from my blog. No one is banned from my blog.  On the other hand, anyone who thinks they can come here and generally be insulting should rethink their plans.

Just a mere week or so ago, in an IM chat, I was asked by Evangelina what I thought about Liz  After me asking just what Liz we were talking about, I said the following (from my chat archives):

Ah…same as I did last time we chatted…she’s another blogger. I certainly don’t approve of her nailing Aria Blue, then again, I don’t approve of how Aria came at her either. She just another name on the net to me, (name deleted).

I went on to say:

We’ve both been around too long to automatically give legitimacy to someone who simply shows up one day talking a good talk. Just like with Ashley Love…we’ll see.

And, then, continuing…emphasis added:

I think so…I did find all of her claims about Aria Blue interesting though…if they are the truth…But I personally don’t think much of her for doing that.

Evangelina’s response was:

If you’re going to “slap someone around the head” to get their attention you do it without the personal stuff

Yes, you do it “without the personal stuff,” Evangelina.  So, perhaps it’s a bit easier to understand my dismay when I see Evangelina post THIS on Leigh’s essay…emphasis mine:

Liz, has been a close friend in these few weeks and although the fight with Aria was not of my making I believe she was entirely justified in reacting to the accusations and attacks Aria made… I am glad Liz had the courage to expose Aria…In fact I support it.

I don’t generally mention one-on-one conversations I have online with others, but I was astounded to see Evangelina comment to the effect that she supported Elizabeth’s revealing what she said was personal information about Aria Blue.  Evangelina has certainly ruffled enough TGs online.  I wonder how she would feel if one of them came upon facts about her private life and then posted them on the internet.  Not too good, I think.  I thought it was chickenshit for Elizabeth to post that stuff when I first read it…and I think it was chickenshit of her to have posted it now.  Evangelina talking out of both sides of her mouth to me is merely incidental.

Evangelina went on to say this in her comment at Leigh’s post:

Since pulling my blog Aria has been the source of a number of rumours and lies about me and my integrity. I have been called a TG troll working against TS women causing disharmony and disrupting alliances. I don’t have words to describe how ridiculous that is especially given the facts of my life as well as the length of time I have been speaking out against transgender doctrines. These outrageous claims are totally untrue and there have been just three people who have offered any public support. Leigh. Anna Rose and Sybil.

Now, Elizabeth, in the comment she made that I deleted said this, about me:

Sure, you had no clue what happened on Aria’s blog! Selective reading habits? Please, you knew and supported Aria when she attacked me even if you never said a word simply by not saying anything.  You did the same when Aria attacked Evangelina mercilessly.

Aside from the fact that during the time span this happened I hadn’t even the faintest clue who Elizabeth even was (still don’t for that matter), the absolute inference of the quotes by Evangelina and Elizabeth is that it is somehow incumbent upon me to jump to the defense of those who I know hold a similar opinion as I do when they get into huge disagreements on the internet…and that if I do not jump in all fangs and claws exposed then I am somehow not only supporting their adversary but attacking them personally by me not saying anything one way or the other.  By that ignorant logic, in the Aria Blue-Evangelina/Elizabeth controversy both of them could assume I both support and attack each of them simultaneously and individually simply by me saying nothing.  That is mind boggling absurdity, nothing short of sheer lunacy…not to mention some elementary attempt to have me choose sides in a disagreement I know nothing about.

I’ve stated more than once that I don’t know what happened with that whole brouhaha, but for the sake of argument, let’s assume that I followed with bated breath every single word that was written.   NEWS RELEASE:  I still wouldn’t have given a damn and still wouldn’t have weighed in. From what little I know about what went down, the whole episode was an exercise for vindictive junior high school students, not me.  I don’t have time for stupid crap like that.  I could care less what Aria Blue or anyone else says about my legitimacy; I’m way too secure in myself to worry about what someone on the internet says about me.  I don’t need Evangelina or Leigh’s, or anyone else’s support over a spat.  Does anyone in their right mind actually think support in a heated internet disagreement over one’s legitimacy is going to make a damn bit of difference to anyone?  Excuse me, but I think anyone who does has seriously confused me with someone who actually gives a damn.

One thing I’ve just never understood is how so many people just can’t seem to get over their past, even after tens of years and GRS.  In her comment, Evangelina said this:

Liz, has been a close friend in these few weeks…One is I have encountered only three people in my life ever who shared the depth of my experiences as a child. Liz is one of them.

That’s so special.  The only question I would ask myself when I read something like that is why.  Why in the world would anyone want to share their painful pretransition past and keep score of those with whom they commiserate?  Anyway, though no one has a monopoly on the distress of what was before transition, I’m glad Evangelina has found a soul mate in Elizabeth and, together, they can share their deep childhood experiences.  I do hope no one is waiting for me to share my childhood with them or anticipates me having any interest whatsoever in theirs…I’ve been over that for years and am not inclined at all to be a sounding board for someone with decades long unresolved issues.

I have chatted with Evangelina for quite some time and liked her.  To my knowledge there has never been a cross word between us.  We seem to have agreed on most, if not almost everything,  thus, I’ve never tried to influence her on anything I can think of.  We don’t exchange e-mails on any regular basis, and only chatted maybe once or twice a month, seeming to miss each other more than we connect.  I enjoyed our chats and never had any reason to believe she was upset with me in any manner whatsoever…we chatted just a week or so ago and she never indicated anything was wrong to me.  I did, however, and as far as the internet goes, count her as a friend and was surprised when she closed her last comment here with THIS:

You have all been duped by Aria and complicit in the vilification of those early pioneers of transition and transsexuality and yet we have all benefited from their courage. Liz is one of those women, Yet Aria and yes all of you vilify those women who came to again to help. Well shame on you, shame on you all…Now I’m through with the lot of you.

You just have to laugh at the drama.  Here we go again.  Evangelina says I have been duped by Aria Blue…Aria Blue’s side claims that I have been duped by Evangelina.  Is anybody sane in this friggin world?  I haven’t been duped by anyone!  Nonetheless, as she posted her comment on my blog and didn’t except me in her comment, I will take her at her word.  I’m sorry she made the comment she made, it surprised more than a few of us.

Before I move on, I have to address something that Elizabeth said in the comment she made that I deleted.  Elizabeth says, speaking of me;

This from someone that posted on my blog that I had no right to interpret what she wrote.  Now that was a cognizant thought of immense logical proportions.

No, I didn’t say that, Elizabeth.  What I actually posted on Elizabeth’s blog was THIS, emphasis added:

If I need someone to interpret what I write and to read my mind all the while telling me what I really mean I can get Dysonnance to do that any time of the day or night.

And, I only said that after I clarified to Elizabeth exactly what I did mean in a three comment, in depth response to the issue on her blog…follow the link and read it for yourselves.  Either way, even if Elizabeth was the first woman ever to live and the origin of original sin I still wouldn’t like her nor believe anything she says.

Enough on those two…time to take a look at yet another drama queen.

Lisalee18wheeler, has commented HERE that she sees my blog as irrelevant and obsolete.  She has called me a puppet of mysterious others she won’t name.  She and others like her, she says, are creating a new paradigm and then added she “had no more to say here.”  She’s posted on her blog HERE that Enough Non-Sense is imploding.  She says she finds some sort of vindication in the fact that her words are coming true…whatever those words might be.  Well, lisalee18wheeler I can tell you this, you burned your bridges here.  I’m pretty liberal in what I allow people to say here and some times it’s a handful keeping the peace.  But, you nor anyone else get a free pass to run me and/or my blog down.  You have bad mouthed me here, on your blog, on PHB and no telling how many other places.  You have said you have no more to say here, yet you felt you had the right to weasel back in here and threaten to out someone, saying in the post of yours I deleted:

Oh Courtney, give it a rest.  I outed you once and I’ll do it again.

Well, sweetpea, you won’t out anyone on my blog, though I do hear that Notes from the T side is pretty lenient on that kind of thing.  As for Enough Non-Sense imploding, I suggest you just hide in the bushes and watch.

So, the drama queens continue with there crap.  The players shift and form their alliances, seemingly sealing them with blood.  New paradigms are being constructed to describe male and female…as if.  People are outed and people are threatened with being outed.  Deep seated issues are still unresolved for some and need deep contemplation.  One group goes after another with a vengeance not seen since The Battle of the Bulge.  People are being duped by both sides…yes, duped, I say.  Telepathy runs rampant.  And, everybody, it appears, has the answer…is the truth…and is the light.

I just don’t see it quite that way.

I’m just a old lady who likes to sail and entertains myself with this blog.  I know what is right for me.  I fight my own internet battles and don’t expect any support in that vein.  I write here what I feel like writing and what I believe…and have never been swayed one way or the other by anyone in that effort.  I may debate an issue vehemently, but the truth is if someone agrees with me fine…if they don’t that’s fine too.  I spend a fair amount of time here encouraging commenters to debate the issue, not attack the author.  I don’t write for comments; I don’t write for traffic…no one will ever see an advertisement on my blog.  I don’t link to other sites on a blogroll…never have, never will, even though some link to mine and even more are very fine blogs.  And, as long as one can show even half way polite manners and just a bare sliver of decorum I’m not going to ban them or keep them from expressing virtually any harebrained idea they might hold.  I’ve said before but I’ll repeat…I’m nonaligned with regard to those who hold similar positions as I hold.  No one – no one – is going to out anyone on my blog or reveal personal information about another here…and don’t expect me to be all warm and fuzzy to those who do it elsewhere and their supporters; it’s a nasty, tasteless, low class, despicably chickenshit tactic.  I value friendship immensely, but once slighted one has a better chance at instant vaporization than regaining my trust.  Sex and gender have been understood by societies forever; I don’t need a new paradigm to help me with that…good luck to those that do.  No one has to ever worry about knowing whether I like them or not…generally I tell them straight up if I don’t…I don’t need any help in that decision making process either, thank you, I’m quite capable of deciding whether I like someone or not all by myself.  And, I don’t bow East and pray to the latest phenomenon with a great narrative that appears on my computer screen  for I’ve simply seen too many appear, and then vanish…appear, and then vanish…and with regard to the internet, people should realize:

There’s no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you’ve got to rise above

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