From TransGriot: 

“One of the tired memes I hear which gets repeated far too often is if a cisgender male dates a transwoman, he’s automatically slapped with the ‘gay’ label.” 

OK, weird syntax aside, I’m sure you all get where she’s coming from.  To the TeeGee Generation, transwoman  can be almost anyone who offers up gender variance.  It’s important to notice – here at least – that there is no mention of whether we are talking about pre-op, non-op, or post-op…just the word transwoman. 

TransGriot  goes on to say these choice items, all of which are hard to disagree with: 

“…one of the Prime Directives of our WPATH real life tests is that we blend in with society.” 

“Being a transperson also doesn’t stop our sex drives…” 

“Transwomen need love just like any other person walking Planet Earth.” 

“There have been some stunning looking transwomen over the last half century emerge from their cocoons to become beautiful butterflies. If they’re hetero oriented in their sexual orientation, they like going out on dates, revel in being in the company of men, getting candy, flowers, chocolate and enjoy getting intimate with them just like any other estrogen based lifeform.” 

“Since the male species that’s hetero oriented checks out the beauty first as a prelude to chasing the booty, these transwomen, like any beautiful woman do get attention from the male species.” 

But then comes the slow but inevitable slide into absolute absurdity, emphasis mine:

 

“Sometimes it doesn’t matter whether we’ve had the surgery or not when they meet us. If we turn them on, they want to get to know us, and like us enough to want to get intimate with us, then nothing’s gonna stop it. 

“You also never know what a person likes to do in the bedroom once the door is closed, and it’s nobody’s business if that person likes a transwoman who just happens to have a neoclit in her panties.” 

And then my favorite: 

“Are we supposed to let plumbing issues get in the way if we have found our soul mate and he doesn’t care about it? I think not.” 

It’s clear now that the focus of the essay is on pre-op  transwomen…but you all knew that all along, didn’t you?  So, the gist of this TransGriot  piece is that men who knowingly  date and become intimate with pre-op transsexuals are not necessarily gay.  I can agree with that, if  one defines bisexual as not  gay (reminds me of the difference between a bisexual man and a gay man…one blow job).  Nothing wrong with pre-ops dating, as long as they realize the men they date are at the least bisexual if the focus of that intimacy is the pre-op’s penis.

I only have my experience to draw from.  When I was pre-op I dated a lot…a whole lot…at least once a week and often two and three times a week…every  week.  I suppose I started dating as a means to validate my womanhood and ability to be attractive to men.  But, after a few years, and as GRS approached, by choice, I dated less and less.  I knew straight men didn’t date pre-ops and aside from the company of the men I dated while I was pre-op, I realized it was pointless.  The truth was I just didn’t enjoy being with men who wanted to be with me after knowing I was pre-op…and with no exceptions, I told every man I dated my status before we ever went out. 

I told every single man I ever went out with, no exceptions, that if they had even the very slightest of interest in the part of me that qualified me as being pre-op I was not in the least bit interested in going out with them.  I told them that if they saw me as anything but simply female to forget it.  And, lastly, I told them if I ever  sensed, even in the most miniscule of ways, that their focus was on my bits that would be the end.  I had no  interest in dates that were held on the premise of bi or homosexuality, even though I knew the men I went out with, even though to the one they claimed otherwise, were either bisexual or latently homosexual.  I was fortunate enough that men found me extremely attractive and I could afford to lay down the law…and I did. 

Every man I ever dated I met on straight on-line dating sites, which assured absolutely nothing but at least guaranteed they were not an out and proud homosexual; my profile listed me as a straight female; I always chatted with the men for weeks and weeks getting to know them before  telling them I was a pre-op TS, which I always did online as well.  Many of them, though we kept up with each other for extended periods of time, I only dated two or three times, nothing steady.  There were two men who I dated off and on for the entire five years I was pre-op.  I was out in California on a project when I had GRS.  A month or two after my surgery I got an e-mail from one of the two men informing me he was transgender…ugh.  The rest of the guys I dated and kept up with, including the other long termer (Leigh, who posts here, met this guy when we all went out one night in Dallas), never called me after they realized I had GRS…and that was a good thing.  That  should be a warning to those who get involved with so-called straight men when they are pre-op.  I never  allowed myself to become involved with men when I was pre-op…I had been warned by too many posties just like I’m doing now that the chances of any of those men sticking around after GRS was the slimmest of slim, bordering on none. 

Other than what Monica Roberts mentions on her blog I don’t know of her background.  But from what I gleaned she was a child of the Montrose gayborhood of Houston…hung out with the gay crowd…had an intersex roommate, etc.   In her essay she claims to have been watching the GLBT for 30 years so it’s not unreasonable to assume her experience with men is for the most part gay centric.  Well, the straight world is a whole lot different than Montrose and the GLBT.  Straight men don’t want a penis in bed with them…period.  Calling a penis a neoclitoris  is utterly and ridiculously absurd and an insult to every woman who ever lived, post operative transsexual or natal.  A penis, whether on a pre-op or a man is still a friggin penis.  Plumbing does  matter to straight men.  Men don’t want to buy a can of pineapple and upon opening it find they have really bought asparagus.  I sometimes think that the transgender activists really feel that if they are capable of saying or writing something that is all that is necessary for it be true.  Heterosexual men like vaginas; gay and bisexual men are attracted to the penis…what about that don’t they understand?  A penis is still a penis  whether you call it a neoclitoris, in a fit of non-op fantasy, or a gopher bone. 

If one who has had GRS meets a straight man, dates that man, gets to know that man…and then, and only then, after  all that prelude she tells the guy that she is post op and  still he sticks around…then one has the potential and chance  for happiness by being accepted as nothing more or less than a female.  The guy will have become interested and attracted to a woman…he dated that woman…and he got to know this woman as a woman, not a pre-op, not a post-op but simply a woman. 

I never wanted to be attractive to any  man if they were first and foremost attracted to me because I was trans anything.  And, I was certainly astute enough to know that any  man who knew up front that I was pre-op, when I was  pre-op, as every man I ever dated did when I pre-op knew, and was still interested in dating me after he knew I was pre-op had to have something way different than heterosexual male  going on inside that head of his.  A MtoF pre-op who thinks straight men will date them is only fooling themselves.  I can’t claim to know that every  MtoF pre-op who has allowed themselves to become involved with a man claiming to be straight is dropped like a weight after they have GRS, but I can say they are playing with fire…and invariably setting themselves up for a fall.

 

Sign THE PETITION…haven’t you had enough of the “neoclit crowd” and the TeeGee Generation?